Saturday, November 26, 2011

What the fauj and parents taught me--from the Salute magazine

Last week, a friend in the Army, reacting to my latest documentary on the endless-and thankless-war that Indian soldiers fight in Kashmir, paid a heartfelt compliment by calling me a ‘soldier-journalist’. Flattered though I was for a moment, the remark also embarrassed me no end. For I have never donned the uniform. To me soldiering is the only profession in which men and women go beyond the call of duty and therefore deserve the highest respect in the society. To me soldiers are a breed apart. In my chosen profession of journalism, this attitude is regarded as partisan. Many feel I am blind to many sins of commission and omission that the armed forces personnel seem to indulge in these days.

The charge may be partially true but I am not ashamed about it mainly because our forces are still way above the rest of the society when it comes to upholding the values of honour, teamwork, professionalism, ethics and camaraderie. But let me also confess: the biggest reason for my soft corner for the forces comes from the fact that I too am a fauji kid and sub-consciously somewhere deep down I still live by a dictum one learnt as a kid: Karmanye Vadhikaraste, Ma phaleshou kada chana (Do your duty to the best of your
ability and don’t seek rewards).

When I look back, I realise that my father, who retired as a subedar major in 1982 and with him my mother, followed this practice in their daily life and passed it to us three brothers without making a song and dance about it. Throughout my 28-year career as a professional journalist, I have been fortunate that I could follow this principle without even realising that I was practicing what my father did all his professional life. Now, wiser and littlemore experienced than before, I am in a position to analyse some of the reasons behind the moderate success that each of us-three brothers-have managed to achieve in our respective  professions.

Adaptability, my biggest strength, has been a second nature through our growing years thanks to the frequent transfers and constantly changing schools. In the 1960s and the 1970s, ordinary soldiers — and my father was one — had a tough life in the Indian Army. They lived far from their families, toiled hard for a pittance and yet possessed a dignity that is not found in an ordinary civilian. The soldier never complained, never whined and never expected anything in return for what he did. I changed eight schools in 10 years
and studied in three different mediums- English, Marathi and Hindi before entering junior college in 1978.
Sub-consciously, without ever preaching to us, our parents drilled a motto into us: “Take life as it comes.”
And we did.

We met the challenges head on. I remember travelling from Pune to Lekha Bali in Arunachal Pradesh by train in the late 1970s. It used to take us four days and five changes at Kalyan, Allahabad, Baruani,
New Bongaigaon and Rangiya before we could reach the destination.

Reservations were never confirmed.

Dad was never with us.

One lived by one’s wits and survived. Frequent transfers meant frequent dislocations and packings. And unlike today, there were no movers and packers in those pre-liberalisation days. So we learnt to adapt.

To be responsible for our actions. Discipline and punctuality was given.

Colleagues laugh at me when I start getting uncomfortable if I am late for an appointment. They laugh at the fact that  I sleep by 10 pm and up by 5.30 am. But I know no other way. I mentioned adaptability earlier. My parents not only taught us how to adapt and accept but also practiced the principle. The biggest
proof is my being a journalist. In the summer of ’83, the world was at my feet as far as my parents were
concerned.

I was selected to be a flying officer in the Indian Air Force. All that remained was for me to submit my graduation certificate by June 30 and start my training in July. As luck would have it, my graduation results were delayed by over a month. So the dream of joining the Air Force was put on hold.

I had six months to kill before I could appear for another round of combined defence services exam that December.

That’s when destiny dealt a decisive, and now in retrospect, a lucky blow.

The Sentinel, a Guwahati based newspaper was just starting out and was looking for trainee journalists for
their sports pages. Having played all games from kabaddi to squash and from kho-kho to cricket as a child, I thought with all the cockiness of the callow youth that I could become a sports journalist, at least for a while. So just for the heck of it, I appeared for the written test that the newspaper held.

Five days later, they called me for an interview. With no expectations, I went for the interview and landed a job at a princely sum of 700 rupees. I still remember the entire sequence in my head as if it happened just yesterday. At the end of the interview that fateful afternoon, the editor asked me, “When can you join?”

 My answer was, “Whenever you want.” He said, “Can you join, tonight?”

And I agreed to join that very evening. Then I became a journalist.

Of course at that time, I had no inkling that I would stay the course. I was sure I would do the job for six months and then move on. But that was not to be. As I joined the paper and started picking up the nuances of the job, I felt at home. The thrill of being part of the team that put  together a newspaper for the benefit of thousands of readers can only be experienced. It can never be described in words. The duty hours were erratic. One went to office at 2 pm and never returned home before 5 am. Three months down the line I decided to remain a journalist and not to pursue the aim of becoming a fighter pilot.


My parents were aghast and crestfallen. For a junior commissioned officer in the earlier 1980s, there was no greater honour than seeing his son becoming a commissioned officer. But like a true soldier, my father
accepted my decision without rancor. All that my parents said at that time was “Excel in whatever you choose to do.” So I stuck on in Assam.

My parents moved back to Pune soon after but again luck smiled on me. Neha married me in 1988 and continued to encourage me to take risks with life and with career. Never ever complaining that I chose to take up risky assignments touring deep into north eastern states, reported the Kargil war, the Sri Lanka conflict, when I could have played safe and remained a desk bound journo.

Today those risks have paid off.

I can say with a bit of  immodesty that I can compete with the best in business without feeling inferior.
With my better half, Neha and our two kids, Harsh and Utkarsh on INS Viraat
The urge to do better than yesterday comes naturally to the men in uniform. If I behave that way even now, it is thanks to my upbringing in a military environment. Despite all its faults and foibles, the military remains a vital part of my life for whatever I am today is thanks largely to the fauj and its ethos.

57 comments:

  1. May God Bless you for such an honest brief. It conveys much more than what you had desired to convey. Thank you.

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  2. A very inspirational piece..esp to be reiterated by the ones donning the uniform today!

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  3. A true picture of a fauji and the trouble the children undertake to complete their education with frequent transfers of faujis as per the operational requiremets is unimaginable during those difficult times when communication facilities were limited. But yes the values you imbibed or emulated will certainly hold you at high esteem at this time when the present day enviorn has no values in their actof commission and omissions.Any way good luck my dear.Keep on doing the good work and of course remember fuaujis and do whatever little good you can do towardss them.
    Thanks
    Velayudhan

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  4. A very inspiring and motivating brief .Strongly recommended to be read by all donning uniform as well as dependents of all Soldiers.Your parents have given you good values for excelling in life

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  5. Thanks to articles like yours, we feel the acknowledgement of our duty & sacrifices made.

    If only the Government could acknowledge the same and utilise the services of ex Servicemen in policing, administration, education and other areas of governance, similar values of discipline, punctuality, honour, teamwork, professionalism, ethics and camaraderie could be incucated in government service & society.

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  6. I am overawed by your simplicity. And, yet so true rings each word that I am compelled to compliment you Sir - had you joined u'd have been senior to me ! and you not joining does'nt relegate the seniority ! Profound regards

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  7. Nitin,

    I would like to circulate this to all those fauji kids who are yet to realise what life in the defence forces has made them, if its OK with you. As for me, I feel that a fauji off spring, thrown on the street, will always land on his/ her feet, in any situation. I am happy to have come across your article.

    Regards,

    Group Capt. (Retd.) Shashi Nair

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  8. After a long,long time it was great to read such a true account of faujis life, which can be only understood by the people who have lived such a life. Please keep doing the great job so that the country and the government realise the importance of our defence forces. God forbid if the prsent state of affairs regarding the promotions, pay and parity continues, the day is not far when the country have to outsource for the defence of the country.

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  9. well said Nitin ...but we must help in restoring the honour back to services...slowly but steadily taken away by the babus... hope Maj Dhanapalan judgement will be the beginning...tc

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  10. Inspirational article written with a rare sense of honesty.

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  11. It was a pleasure read about you. It would be great to know of the Bombay Sapper influence in your experiences. Regards Email1970@yahoo.co.in

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  12. It was a pleasure to read about you. It would be great to know of the Bombay Sapper influence in your experiences. Regards Email1970@yahoo.co.in

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  13. it was really pleasure to read this article & being a ward of defense personnel i do understand the importance of fauji background in each step of my life...

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  14. a true and great article on defense forces after many years......no wonder.....only someone who has experienced it can write.....congratulations......tapan

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  15. Want to thank all of you--Tapan, Tina Mukherjee, Davinder, Rajeev Verma, Mike.

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  16. Mr.Gokhale as someone who is married to an Army officer I relate to your each and every word although one can not overlook the fact that Army as an organisation and people who form it have undergone tremendous changes since the time of your father and sadly some of those changes are not good.Nevertheless I still feel extremly honoured to be a part of it and wouldnt change this life for anything..

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  17. Nitin Gokhale....u will always remain a true fauji...so what if you have'nt donned the uniform....keep up the good work
    with best wishes from an ex fauji
    Karan sampath
    Hyderabad
    Mob 8297968687

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  18. Nitin,
    Your article brought back nostalgic memories, memories from the day my Dad took me to Khadakwasla to watch West Indies play the Services, 1958-59, when I was in Class VIII in St Vincent's, a day that made me decide to join the NDA till my last day in uniform, covering the many postings, courses, difficult times as well as all the fun and frolic. And what I liked most about your article was how succinctly you brought out the charater building values of life in the fauj!
    Thank you and hats off to you.
    Ashim Choudhury
    P.S. I am proud my grandson is named Nitin

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  19. Nitin,
    May God bless you and family

    Wg Cdr J Thomas (Retd)

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  20. Tina Mukherjee, Tapan, Narendra, Priyanka, Sampath, Asim Choudhury and J. Thomas.

    I want to thank all of you from the bottom of my heart. Never expected such positive reactions from all of you who have written in and all those who have read this blog post.

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  21. Dear Nitin,
    One is so proud of maitaining the values generated by your parents.Service before self in not only the army's motto but the same is mentioned in chapter 11 and 12 of the Bhagwad Geeta.Lord Krishna says ....if you want me then think of me and do service to me.....ie others as I'm in everyone.
    I retired as a Maj Gen and you had cocktails in my house.Rest whenever we meet.Unfortunately, my father who was a second world war vetern and was in the same unit as Gen SK Sinha passed away a few months back.
    I woould love to meet you and inter-act on many issues.
    Regards
    ANIL LAL/DR/Maj Gen(retd)

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  22. hi Nitin,
    i must have by now been a forgotten memory in your never ending list of servicemen u meet in the course of your profession. well I was commanding the 25 sector of the Assam Rifles in lekhapani in 2003/05 when we met and interacted. i was in touch with you for sometime thereafter.but like all things in the service we have moved on and drifted. I retd in 2008 fm pune and am settled down in Belgaum. my son is now a commissioned officer in the bn I served ie 12 MARATHAS and is currently posted in IMA after a tenure in manipur where he won a Sena Medal for gallentry. it would be nice to reest contact. do get in touch. Regards. Brig M R Pattar. cell no 9449221641

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  23. From one army kid to another. It's an explicable bond that transcends caste, community, profession and much else. Having been born, brought up and married into the army, I know no other life. My profession as a journalist gives me a window to other worlds and brings home to me each day, the blessing that I have to be born in this one. It's a life like no other.Where old world values still survive, where people still teach their children the virtues of honesty and hardwork, where the rough life is not something to whine but to celebrate. I, like many others identify with many things said in your blog post. The army brat can survive and flourish almost anywhere. May the tribe live long and hard !

    Chander Suta Dogra
    Bureau Chief -North
    Outlook newsmagazine

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  24. Thanks Chander Suta. May there be many more like us!!

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  25. Gen Lal,
    Yes of course I remember having met you in Leh. Thank You for your remarks

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  26. Thanks for such a wonderful write-up Nitin. Having served in the IAF as an airman for 21 years and having got posted to 7 units throughout the length and breadth of our nation, I nostalgically recollect those journeys now. There are so many funny, mischievous and sometimes painful anecdotes that I can relate to your sentence " reservations were never confirmed". Thanks again, and may God bless you and your family. Here's wishing you all a very happy and prosperous new year, too.

    Achuthan (Sgt - Retd)

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  27. Thanks for an excellent write up for this has not only made me proud of my service in Indian Air Force but also I could show you as an example to my son, Prashanth, who is a software engineer and does not respect my service. I wish all the servicemen should have a child like you so that we feel proud of our service in the past. We are disrespected by the society after leaving the service and are considered fit for only security jobs even though we can do better than anybody else. May God bless you and your family members.

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  29. Hari! Om!

    Wonderful anecdote Nitin Ji. I must say you have kept up to your fauji spirits in your present profession & life. I happen to get
    your link from an ex-serviceman relative.

    The narration is something of an out of the world experience for me & my siblings too.
    I am totally moved and am horipilating.

    I see signs of nostalgia, of my good olden days that we experienced in the Air Force Camps, all across, India.

    I suggest & hope everyone should read your Salutation to the Warrior Clan.

    To conclude my comment, Hats' Off to your narrative capabilities & journalistic professionalism.

    JAI! HIND!

    Vedam Chandrasekhar
    Independent Engineering Professional

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  30. DEAR NITIN,

    YOUR BLOG WAS PASSED ONTO ME BY AN ARMY BRIGADIER FRIEND OF MINE. THE VALUES THAT YOU EXEMPLIFY ARE THE HIGHEST VALUES ANY ONE WOULD WANT TO ESPOUSE AND INCULCATE. IT REQUIRES SELF REMEMBRANCE AND DEEP CONVICTION TO TREAD A LONE PATH. BRAVO AND HATS OFF TO YOU. GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY. WITH BEST WISHES. ANAND GUNE

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  31. Dear Anand Gune, Vedam Chandrashekhar, Sgt. Achutan,

    Thanks for your compliments. I write from the heart and that has perhaps touched a chord in all of you somewhere.

    God Bless.

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  32. salute to you sir for pouring your heart out on this piece ,
    it can only be done by the journalist of your caliber hats off to you sir and proud to be born in to this family..

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  33. Dear Nitin,
    I happen to see this piece today only on net and you should believe me it hit me instantly. Being part of the Indian Armed Forces gives you a real kick to be candid and honest. There is no two way about it. You have put the words the way I am seeing it like on celluloid. I left IAF in 1998 as a Sergeant after I got a chance. Without any doubt I can vouch that Air Force has been like a second mother to me. I joined as a matriculate and when left I had an MBA (marketing) A grade degree from the University of Pune. I vividly remember when my children were younger, they used to feel very happy whenever we had to shift our house hold. It was very frequent. Those days (80s-90s) Air Force Station Lohegaon had tremendous housing scarcity.
    The biggest gift Air Force has given is that my children can cohabit and coexist with anyone without any air or rancor. The biggest value Forces teach is being rooted and grounded. May god bless you for a candid admission and it should be able to impart some education to our young countrymen.

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  34. Nostalgic for any army brat. We have huge hopes on you, as much as on ourselves!

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  35. Shruthi,

    Coming from another fauji kid, priceless!

    Thanks

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  36. Well, I hope I will be able to live upto those hopes. The attempt will always be there.

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  37. Nitin.. I still remember the short, yet memorable meeting I had with you in Jun/Jul 99... OP VIJAY. I was the Detachment Commander of the Helicopter Detachment at Kargil. Though you may not place me ... since you would have met and interacted with so many like me then and since then to now.... but for me it was a very very memorable interaction. The depth of your research and study even then was what left a mark on me. If I remember correctly, you worked for theOutlook group then... I still have your visiting card that you gave me.... :). I was then Major Prashant Oak... now at Mumbai as Col(Retd) Prashant Oak, taken up commercial aviation as my second profession, flying for Deccan Charters. Would love to meet you again and hear out your experiences during your years as a Defence Journalist....YOU ARE BEST DEFENCE JOURNALIST of our country. Regards, Good Luck and God Spede.

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    Replies
    1. Dear Prashant,

      Sorry for the late reply. Was away in Assam.

      You are very kind. Your words embarrass me no end! One has learnt to try and do the job at hand to the best of one's ability. The results would come.

      I really haven't done anything extraordinary, just remained true to my calling.

      I will be frank. I remember our meeting in Kargil only vaguely. But now that I see your picture, I do recall it a bit.

      Good to know you have made a successful transition to a second career. Whenever I come to Mumbai will get in touch. My email is nitinagokhale@gmail.com.

      Please do get in touch whenever possible.

      Warm Regards

      Nitin

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  38. You are an inspiration to ordinary people like us.
    It's great that you have given here such a true and open picture of how Fauj is such an integral part of your life.

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  39. Maj Gen Manmohan, Singh mms1919@gmail.com
    great to read excellent piece , my dear Nitin
    you will recall that i had invited you to Army school , Shankar Vihar delhi and we also shared a stage at Devlali.
    I was MD of army welfare education society from jan 2004 to dec 2010.
    now settled at Mohali.
    will be a pleasure to meet you whenever u come this side.


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  40. Yes Gen Manmohan,

    I do remember our meetings.

    Thank you very much for your kind words.

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  41. Hi Nitin, Cam to your blogspot through a forward by Ajith Chauhan manav42224@gmail.com, who forward interesting fauji articles.
    As an exNDa who left the fauj early, I got to see the best of fauj before the internet and cell phones started affecting the Ethos. As I struggle to convince my son to join the NCC, many of my EX Fauji friends and colleagues who are themselves fauji children and who have seen the services from their birth don't want their children to join the fauj. In some cases they are going to extreme lengths to even discourage those children who are keen. Earlier I used to blame them. However a recent visit to a few army and navy messes and officer's accommodation helped me to see the real picture. These degradation in these institutions tell both the story and also provide the reason about where its all headed.

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  42. I wanted but unfortunately could not join Army.But the circular world made my son to become a Fouji and thus fulfilling my hidden desire in some form. You are right when you said that the SANSKAR of Fouj are great and mould the children to be in similar culture of discipline & meticulousness. I am of the opinion that if the NATION has to become worthy of proud,at least one person from each family should be in FOUJ. This venture will make every citizen like you and our country as we desire.

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  44. Nitin,

    Please send in your email ID. I want your feedback on starting an all India magazine for ex-servicemen. I am already publishing two newspapers in Mumbai. I am an ex-army officer. Please reply at prasoon1960@gmail.com

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  45. Nitin,
    I can so much relate to what you say, being a fauji child. For whatever I have in life today, I thank my fauji upbringing more than anything else. Its a way to live!

    Thanks for putting it in words so well. I can now very well explain to people what I exactly mean by adaptability being my strength..:)

    -Prerana

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  47. Well Nitin your article proves that you r a winner for life with the values,principles and scruples (sanskaras as we know them) that have been programmed into your DNA. You do not need to be in uniform to be a soldier, every body is one in the battle of life unfortunately only very few live upto it. We r proud of you.

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  48. well as they say once a fauji always a fauji!!!! being a fauji kid n a fauji, can completely relate to each n every word of wat you have said....

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  49. Nitin,
    Thanks for putting into words all that most of us believe in......that it all starts at home.....an Army Brat and now raising two of my own this gypsy life is now in my blood.
    I thank you for all that you do, to make it all seem Real.Most people I know cannot connect to the job that my husband and his brothers -in -arms do. For them...Army life is nothing more than one big party. Not many understand the tough times the children and the wives face..... they are the Silent Ranks.
    But your words do give us Hope.....that whatever may happen there are people who believe stillin this beautiful organization

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  50. It's so very interesting to read. Almost a decade after your episode with AF, I faced a similar situation, albeit , I succeeded in joining the IMA instead of my dream to be in the AFA.

    Very much explains your love for the NE and those many journalist accounts you shared I'm various talks.

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  51. It's so very interesting to read. Almost a decade after your episode with AF, I faced a similar situation, albeit , I succeeded in joining the IMA instead of my dream to be in the AFA.

    Very much explains your love for the NE and those many journalist accounts you shared I'm various talks.

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